Finding Gabriel

In my Sat., Aug. 2 post I mentioned that I had been tipped off to a book written by a local professor about his experiences with stillbirth. This was inaccurate, but I am very glad for the tip.

The book in question, Waiting With Gabriel: A Story of Cherishing a Baby's Brief Life was written by Amy Kuebelbeck, the huband of a professor at St. Thomas, Mark Neuzil - a search for the book under his name was fruitless (you can sit in this rocking chair, Mr. Thayer) though that was one of the titles I looked over when trying to find it. A brief email exchange with him put me on the right track. The Internet is an amazing thing.

Also, their boy wasn't still born, they discovered during pregnancy that he has HLHS, hydroplastic left heart syndrome. Which is to say, no left side of his heart. After birth they could either choose for him an infancy and childhood and life full of high-risk and debilitating surgeries, or to die in the warm care of his parents arms in relatively less anguish.

No, we cannot compare our tragedies. Or maybe we can. Yes, I wish I could have looked down on Calvin's smiling face, just once, or to feel him grasp my finger. And sometimes I think of how relieved I am that he just died and I never had to make a decision like that one.

I am enjoying the book ... you know, the way people enjoy my play.