My name is Toni, and I will be your Cruise Director ...

In a day and a half we begin the UK tour. I have not had time to blog recently, I am aware that most of these posts are just reefers to obnoxious YouTube videos or newspaper articles. I got no time for anything else, I have been juggling three projects at work with a number of other personal and artistic endeavors which may or may not be interesting. May if any of them come to any kind of fruition I can take a moment to reflect on them.

The trip, however, I will be documenting as much as possible, maybe even with pictures, who knows. I do like recording how the performances go, wherever they are, and this should be just fascinating.

But it's not just me going on this trip. Kelly will stage manage - and Toni is coming with the kids. And as if that weren't enough, so is my mother-in-law Connie and Toni's sister Adrienne. So, every plane, every train, every bus will have seven of us getting on and getting off.

This would concern me. But like my father before me, I married someone who is as good at making plans as I am at being largely oblivious to what is going on two feet from my nose or where the hell I am. Pictured above is an actual binder with tabs for every day of the journey. She has listings for everywhere we are staying, everywhere I am performing, all of our boarding info and tips on where we should spend what is actually going to a large amount of free time ... at least for everyone except me and Kelly.

Mom takes good care of us. I am a man who calls his wife Mom.