There exists a spotty paper trail of our pregnancy with Calvin. Nothing like the weight of evidence of our pregnancy with the girl almost two years later -- we watched that pregnancy with a vengeance, ourselves and our medical team.
No, we have a few "growing belly" photos, and my sporadic journal entries -- nothing like the outpouring of writing that came after. But having never delved into them until now, I am shocked and saddened by what I am finding. There's no magic bullet, no "a-ha" moment. It sounds like a typical pregnancy, if one of the more unpleasant ones.
The AFP blood tests indicated abnormalities -- but couldn't say what they were. The ultrasounds were excellent. And my wife would suddenly take to her bed, in great discomfort and pain and illness, unable to sleep or relax. And I was deeply troubled.
She had pre-eclampsia. That's it. It's vague, but it's true and we didn't know. Re-experiencing it in this day-to-day fashion is disturbing. And sad. It's was a mystery and we had no clue as to what was at stake.
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