Slow (Chemical Brothers Mix)
Kylie Minogue
Music from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
(Metrosexual? Please, we prefer ‘fey’.)
Lush Life
When Toni and I were honeymooning we came across this fabulous skin product shop in Vancouver called LUSH. Their entire deal is that their stuff is "handmade" and contains "natural" ingredients. Whatever. We just love what they make and it’s a real guilty pleasure.
One a year or so we get a box of happy things from them, and as time goes by I think I get more stuff for me than Toni does for herself.
I have developed an unhappy T-zone which is delighted by the exfoliating effects of my new bar of Fresh Farmacy as well as a post-shower treatment of Imperialis (contents include lavender, mullein leaf, orange blossom water and olive oil, among a number of lovely butters.) I also have a new shaving mucilage, as well as a body bar that fairly reeks of patchouli.
I like being a girl.
Hair Loss
Next question: How in the hell did a local "hair restoration" business get their hands on 1) my parents address in Lakewood attached to 2) my birth name, which I have not used since 1986, replete with the information that 3) I have male pattern baldness?
These places infuriate me. They begin by stating "hair loss has plagued mankind for centuries," and reassure me that "with the advances of medical technology, there is no reason to suffer from hair loss."
F*** you very much, is all I can say, I am not plagued, and neither do I suffer. You know, I got a hairpiece once, for a show. Never used it again, I think it looks ridiculous. I named it Hell Toupee.
I never had a nice time with my hair, I could never do anything with it. I have to conduct a poll among my friends who go back that far – which, admittedly, number about two – and ask whether I looked better then or now.
What really irks me is how neurotic guys are about hair loss. I think I was better off losing so much so fast when I was young. I started thinning when I was 22 or 23 and was pretty much where I am now in about six years. Any social adjustment I needed to make took place a long time ago, and the only people I know who make jokes … well, okay, the only person who makes jokes is Nick. What a surprise.
No comments:
Post a Comment