I Hate This Blog

Hateful Reminder

University Hospital - Midnight
A fever, a sinus infection, a trip to the hospital. Why take chances? Toni had a temp of 102 when we came on, now it's normal. Hmn.

1:05 am
She can’t keep anything down, now she has chills. I have a chair, I forgot my Motrin, my leg aches - how can I take care of both of them in pain with no sleep?

1:40 am
She appears to be in better spirits ... I just wish she could stop vomiting. Zelda is at the Turners.

I had to b.m. ten minutes ago … in the waiting room (uh, the bathroom off the waiting room.) And yes, there was a Charlie Brown Christmas tree in there.

2:40 am
Nodded off a little bit - emphasis on nod. She's still hot, hasn't retched in a while. There's talk of our leaving soon.

2:50 am
No, it's worse. She's dehydrated, they will put her on an IV.

4:10 am
Got coffee, walked the atrium. Been reading A Thread of Grace to her out loud. She still feels hot. I hope Zelda is sleeping at the Turners', I keep thinking we left her at home.

And what of the boy? His heart beats. He moves. He lives.

5:30 am
Started reading The DaVinci Code. Is this a joke? This book is terrible.

6:00 am
Suddenly, it's morning. Toni finally slept - for a half-hour. What a night. We'll see about leaving, and I have a lot of phone calls to make.

7:05 am
Now we're losing it. This sucks. She's hot, but they say her temp is normal, so no Tylenol. I will get Z. to school ... and then what? I have had no sleep. The nurses have stopped being helpful. Toni wants to be sure she is on the midwife's rounds.

4:30 pm
I took Zelda to school (after driving halfway to the Turner's, realizing I had Toni's glasses in my pocket and heading back) went home and slept until one. Then I washed up and came back. Toni is much better, not burning, she can drink, eat a little without puking. We may get to go soon.

The Fish has been active throughout. Zelda has been with my folks. We miss our girl.

7:05 pm
Home, where we belong. Still, I got two sick girls. Last night, when we left, I did not actually panic, it was just “okay, let’s go to the hospital” without thinking too much about the parallel event that occurred March 2 -3, 2001.

An ill, pain-wracked Toni, dehydrated, on an IV, while I try desperately not to nod-off in my chair. A squishy, fast heartbeat on the monitor. The same building, the same floor, similar circumstances. Passing by the same rooms. And yet … nothing. Not really. Not like that. My memories of that time remind me of how alone I felt then, it was just us. This time around we asked for help, I was not ashamed, just concerned. Asking the parents for help, our friends for help. It’s what friends, and family, are for.

And I didn’t think twice about just walking up to the Nurses’ station and asking, “Would someone please help my wife to the bathroom?” F*** that noise, this is too important.