Check It

Mad props to my man, Curtis "Drop It On The Crumpet" Proctor for the image at right. Made my Christmas.

Damn skippy that will be on my homepage for the forseeable future. Word.

Holiday snaps up in a day or two, I got the BEST hat from Toni's aunt Toni.

UPDATE: Here's my favorite holiday photo. My in-laws own and operate the Smiling Skull Saloon in Athens, OH.

Open 365 days a year, it has been my pleasure to join my father-in-law Chris the past several Christmas mornings to open the place promptly at 10 AM, and drink.

Check out THAT HAT! I went shopping at Walgreen's in that hat last night, the woman at the check-out wouldn't even look at me! Yeeeeeeeeeehah!

Have a happy new year, everyone.

With our regrets ...

The Hansen brothers, Christmas 1977

Missed another party last night. Damn. I was really hoping to be social this holday season, but there's always something and it's usually no fun. Yesterday it was another migraine. That's two in ten days. I would have seen my GP already ... but I don't currently have one. I last saw the pleasantly vicious Dr. X last January when she did something unspeakably hideous to one of my feet.

So I have no doctor, which is no way for a 37 year-old man to be. But I have some leads and will make calls tomorrow. I cannot bear the day-to-day anxiety that comes with wonering if I may, possibly, out of the blue, wake up the next morning unable to think or see straight.

I actually put the name "Janus" on my list when we were coming up with boys' names. There were a number of month-inspired names, I thought they sounded strong. "Joy of life" I think came to mind when naming Zelda, after losing Calvin. And then, when we learned we would be having a boy, all I could think was, "Be strong. Boys are weak. Be strong."

Janus, looking before and after. Often I am overwhelmed at this time of year with all the other year-ends I have had to contend with. Maybe because of the time off, I finally have a moment to rest, and then my brain goes haywire with all the thoughts rushing to catch hold of my attention.

We had a great New Year's party to ring in 2000. The 20th Century Revival Party: we asked friends to decorate each room in our house, each room was a different decade. I think almost everyone we knew at that time came to our New Year's party, the place was packed. What a celebration, like we had really accomplished something, bringing the century to a close - not the millennium, who can handle that, and certainly not the decade. We didn't want that decade to end, so much so we still don't know what to call this one, it sucks so bad.

It's not even five years done, it's almost six years done. Christ, what an ugly time. "Not only can we win the war in Iraq — we are winning the war in Iraq." Yeah? Blow me.

It was last night that got me started on this 1999 thing - again. I think it was La Femme D'Argent from Moon Safari by AIR, something melancholy but forward-looking (like my entire life) and I thought of that year, starting a new company, getting married - and then of that party. And I thought of the week that followed, the first week of the year. My whole family was together, and we went to Florida, to see my grandfather (who died last May) and to watch five year-old Lydia discover Disneyworld.

And while I was thinking all of this, I was also watching Zelda. She's got nothing to do with any of that. Everything awful that's ever happened to me happened after that ball dropped on January 1, 2000. It started curdling almost immediately, only I was still running too fast to see it.

The entire Hansen family will be together this New Year's, too. And I am really looking forward to that.

I am grateful for everything (well, almost everything) that has happened to us since Calvin died. I take nothing for granted, it's all a bonus.

Between now and New Year's, I don't know how much time I will have to blog or keep tabs on my friends here. I have met so many of you who are going through the worst of it, or just emerging from it, and I am glad I met you all this year, and I want you to be strong, and safe, and know Toni and I are thinking about you.

We wish you a very happy and hopeful 2006. Peace.

Rebroadcast Announced

I HATE THIS will be re-aired on Monday, January 2, 2006 on "Around Noon" on WCPN 90.3 FM ideastream.

That's for all those luddites out there with dial-up connections or something who can't listen to the show online right now.

There's also talk about a prime-time rebroadcast on March 20th, Calvin's birthday, which I thought was a powerfully sweet suggestion, whether or not it actually happens.

Make that Calvin's fifth birthday, a fact which makes me want to go into my room and hide.

Jumping on the bandwagon.

For friends and foes of Baby Einstein videos, here they are:

Julie's Baby Einstein rant.

Julie's effing hysterical Baby Smackhead movie.

Happy Holidays

The Thayer-Hansen 2005 Holiday Letter. Joyeux Noel, y'all.

The Revolution Will Be Dramatized!

For fans of Bad Epitaph Theater Co., or for those of you interested in even more radio drama ... I just found a fun radio adaptation of Kirk Wood Bromley's The American Revolution for the New York Historical Society.

From the site:

A New York City-based theater group, known as the Inverse Theater Company (ITC), was commissioned (asked) by the New-York Historical Society, to create this work. They were directed to create an exciting dramatic piece that could tell the story of the American Revolution in about six (6) scenes, and in about 40 minutes or less. ITC had to weave the stories of Helen Korthright, with other factual evidence about the American Revolution, while connecting the War and its importance to events of today.

This (brief) version is part Washington's story, bits of which will be familiar to those who saw the BETC production I directed in Summer 2004, and the other part is the true story of "Mrs. Abraham Brasher (Helen Kortright),” who witnessed events during the American Revolution, and in 1802, wrote the account of her many experiences during that period.

Because these six parts are geared towards kids, it's not as irreverent as the original play - but a lot more hip than your average American Revolution lesson.

Coping With Grief at Holidays

Sun Press, 12/8/05

If you have lost a loved one, the holiday season can heighten your sense of loss. Many people withdraw or skip the holiday season altogether, but this makes them feel worse.

Here are some tips for coping with the loss of a loved one during the holidays from Dr. Angela Neal-Barnett, Kent State associate professor of psychology and author of Soothe Your Nerves: The Black Woman's Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety, Panic and Fear.

Celebrate the Holidays. Use part of the celebratioin to honor the memory of the loved one. Hang a special ornament on the tree or share a favorite memory about the person.

Help someone else. So many men, women and children are alone or have very little for the holidays. Volunteer to serve dinner at a shelter, participate in an angel tree, or invite your elderly neighbor to dinner.

Remember you are not alone. Being around others who have experienced loss can help, especially when you encourage and share with each other.

Call (330) 672-2266 or visit aneal@kent.edu."

Word To Your Bling-Bling

Working the new play today. Wanted to get down with what the kids are saying these days, yo. Knew I would not be successful trying to find a teen-slang dictionary, but what the hell.

This is not helpful:

The Source for Youth Ministry Teen Lingo Dictionary
Example:
all that
of a superior nature; wonderful or attractive.
"That boy is all that." "That song is all that and a bag a chips!"

Thank you for that little piece of info, circa 1991.

This is also not helpful, but at least it's funny:

The Infinite Teen Slang Dictionary
Example:
flip
adj. addicted to buttocks.
"Don't be so flip, Billy."

Please Kill Me

I have been getting the worst migraines - or is that redundant? I believe there was period in my life when I did not have a debilitating headache once every one or two weeks, but I can't remember when that was. I do remember doing my performance at LaCentre in Oct. 2004 with a nasty headache - and usually they go away when I am distracted for a prolonged period of time, but this time it did not.

I woke feeling weak yesterday, and by the time I needed to go to work it had progressed to the point of nausea. I called in ill, and got in bed until 9 pm. It was not an easy day of lying in bed, it was a day of convulsions, periods of weeping, and no food or drink. When Toni did bring me water and noodles, I knew it would make me sick - I had a sip of one, a bite of the other, lay down for a moment and the ran straight to the bathroom.

It troubles me that this has been happening more frequently. Is it stress-related? What stress? Lack of sleep? Big deal. Dehydration, our new bed, dust mites, President Bush, what?

Zelda has learned compassion. Previously, it had been a major effort getting her to leave Toni or I alone when are ill or resting. Yesterday she would come in on occasion and check on me, tell me how things are going, talk in hushed tones. Once, when Kelly and Orson had an accident in the hallway (it sounded like he'd been dropped down the stairs - nothing of the sort happened, it was just a number of loud thumps and cries and my ugly imagination) I leapt out of bed and held it together to make sure everything was all right, when Zelda came up, took me by the hand, and led me back to bed with a baby doll to keep me company.

Still very shaky today, but happy to be alive.

The Power of Love

I'll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door.
- Frankie Goes to Hollywood

We watched The Matrix last night. Second time for me, first for Toni. After the colossal ripping the sequels received, Toni wasn't expecting anything and as a result, enjoyed it.

It is disturbing to watch the part when Neo and Trinity storm the office building, even now. Ghosts of Columbine.

The 90s were stuffed with meaning, the encroaching "millennium" offered such gargantuan symbolism. How many more movies about the end of the world could there be?

Since January 1, 2000 - or more accurately, since September 11 - all of that seems rather pointless. Thanks to our masters, the world as we know it already has ended. And it doesn't mean anything.

Zelda and I went shopping for Christmas lights tonight. I wouldn't get her any candy, this time. I get her too much candy, anyway. We have a tree, it's nice. Toni took the best picture of Orson, ever, in his bunny hat. I will make sure a print falls into the right hands around Graduation Day 2023.

How old will Zelda be before she yells at me not to sing 80s Christmas pop songs at the top of my voice in the car?

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas.
Couldn't miss this one this year.

Regarding the photo above; I have no idea who these people are. Just did a google search on Christmas and 1984. Thought it could stand in for a nice picture of our three kids.

World AIDS Day

On Dec.1, 1990 (at the dawn of the 30-year Bush-Iraq War) the Red Hot + Bluespecial debuted on ABC. The archive video has all of the bumpers and intros that had been originally created for the show - including Richard Gere's shocking suggestion that people use condoms or not share needles. These bits were cut at the last minute as a result of pressure, and fear, from the network, and replaced with inoffensive tributes to composer Cole Porter.

AIDS is still here. Here's how you can help out locally. Please do.

Your Morning Cocktail

Red Hot + Blue: A Tribute to Cole Porter
01. Too Darn Hot Erasure
02. Don't Fence Me In David Byrne
03. From This Moment On Jimmy Somerville
04. So In Love k.d. lang
05. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? The Thompson Twins
06. Night And Day U2

Red Hot + Dance
07. Too Funky George Michael

Red Hot + Rio: Pure Listening Pleasure
08. É Preciso Perdoar Cesária Évora + Caetano Veloso + Ryuichi Sakamoto
09. The Boy From Ipanema Crystal Waters
10. Corcovado Everything But The Girl
11. Water To Drink Incognito With Omar & Anna Caram
12. Waters Of March Marisa Monte & David Byrne
13. Non-Fiction Burning PM Dawn With Flora Purim &Airto
14. One Note Samba/Surfboard Stereo Lab & Herbie Mann

Red Hot + Rhapsody: The Gershwin Groove
15. A Foggy Day (In London Town) David Bowie and Angelo Badalamenti
16. Summertime Morcheeba & Hubert Laws
17. But Not For Me Natalie Merchant
18. Someone To Watch Over Me Sinéad O'Connor