It was the Self-Righteous Oscars tonight! Yes, hasn't Hollywood addressed all major social taboos, years before the rest of society deals with them.
Except neonatal demise. But who wants to ruin their party, especially after they got all dressed up?
CALLING ALL ANGELS
The stillbirth of a baby is a devastating occurrence. When are we going to find out why it happens? And when will we start talking about it?
by Suzanne Pullen, San Francisco Chronicle
Sunday, March 5, 2006
Thanks to Lorem for the tip (just in case you missed her comment.) It's a big, thorough story, about the author's son, Avery, born still at 24 weeks.
Update on the Long Island thing: Thanks for the powerful statements, people. I actually drafted a letter, defending my work - not just the play, but the whole idea of coping with (rather than supressing) grief, a point which appeared lost on this doctor.
Of course, it sucks having to defend yourself, it makes you sound defensive. Luckily, I have supporters in the community here, and one of them contacted the doctor in question. It was a great letter, it honored me and the work I have done, and I wish I was at liberty to share it.
The response my champion received was respectful (to them) and short, acknowledging their standing in the OB/GYN community, and thanking them for the time they took to write.
I still hate this.
9 comments:
David,
I was just plain sad when I heard your North Shore performance was cancelled. I Hate This also – like you having to defend your work, I always have felt I have to defend my grief – like my losses are not tangible enough – to warrant these past years of anger, craziness, depression. I’ve lost 2 friends who likely just could not understand what all the fuss is about. I cling to thoughts of little green baby sweaters, and intuitional hard wood rocking chairs with metal plaques of my dead sons names on the back of them. I give up; maybe I am just plain fucking crazy. I just don’t expect anyone to ever fully understand the dynamics of neonatal losses, but insensitive dismissiveness makes me really crazy. Was the decision in Long Island somewhat of the mindset that this wasn’t cost effective? Or has the educational value and relative importance of this type of training in question? Let me know if there is anything I could do to advocate for you and your work.
Kristen F.
Please post Dr. Asshole's address so that we may send letters to him. Oh, and to his colleagues. And see about booking it through a rival hospital on L.I.
The educational value and relative importance of this type of training is in question. The funding was there, the approval was not.
Again, I am just sad. I am trying to understand why this happened... Too much time out of busy profitable clinic time? Could they not get their minds around the educational value of theater? Seems like a done deal, I just wish I would have given you a copy of the grant we wrote for Metro, I think all involved did an excellent job of making a case for educational value in an area of the higest litigation rates in medicine. If there is any follow up, I would urge you to at least advocate for some discussion on the issues of the play. I just have such a problem with this coming from a person in this position from my multiple birth loss mom stand point. I am aware here in Cleveland that these type of doctors are the first to step up and grace covers and embrace news coverage for a successful healthy delivery of quads, quints, sextuplets, whatever... The roads to these successful outcomes are paved with horrific outcomes of many other families... The "loss people" are just no fun to serve damit! Many providers out of there own discomfort can not get them out of their offices fast enough. I for some reason am just taking this L.I. cancellation too personally... I am going to email you a copy of the grant we wrote last year - it might help if this unfortunate situation comes up again. Kristen F.
Kristen & Lorem: it's certainly a done deal. And as much as I, too, take the cancellation personally, on a professional level I feel its necessary to leave it where it is. Obviouslt said doctor has his mind made up, and even a highly placed recommendation cannot sway him. Posting his name email address for open flaming, though emotionally satisfying, would be bad for my reputation, and more importantly, the reputation of my contact. It's bad enough I'm waving this about on a public blog.
Does that make me a hypocrite? As much as I have always encouraged every one of us to vent, and to be open with our grief and anger (and yes, even our joy) if I am going to continue to present I HATE THIS around the country, I want to avoid jumping down the throat of just anyone who gets in my way.
On Second (third, fourth, fifth...) thought from my gramatically embarrassing ramblings above, this whole L.I. thing may involve dynamics and politics completely removed from all of us. I guess I am just hoping that decisions were not entirely made because of one individuals insensitivity on loss issues. Kristen
No, I am fraid that's exactly why the decision was made.
He's still a cunt - or whichever sanctioned word you've chosen to use in your revised IHT presentation.
And, no, it's not hypocritical to choose your battles. I completely understand and respect your desire to just drop it, and move onto more accomodating venues.... good luck, you know how I feel about the piece, it should be seen by many, many more people.
I'm appalled by the cancellation, and am glad people have sprung to your defense. The idiot doctor should also hate this, but instead he buries his head in the sand. A great opportunity for understanding has been missed.
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