More Books!

Yesterday I received a care package from SANDS (Stillbirth And Neonatal Death Society - they aren't afraid to use the word "death" in Britain) including two copies of their newsletter, and the books Living with Leo by Mario Di Clemente and Fathers Feel Too by Andrew Don. Erica S. from SANDS has been in touch, and is planning to attend the 24 March performance.

I have not finished Fathers Feel Too yet (it's not a thick book) but I will soon. I am enjoying it, if that's the appropriate word (you know what I mean) because it remains an unusual event to hear the story from the father's point of view.

It's also a bit awkward to read in places. I could best sum up my experiences with women in the past fifteen years with a book I'd call, Women Who Run With The Wolves - And The Men Who Love Them. But it makes me cringe at times how hard certain men protest their innner-feminine side, to the point of becoming what they most despise. Case in point - those "sensitive, new-age guys" who yowl in outrage that they aren't allowed to walk with the women during the annual "Take Back the Night" march.

"I am offended that I am being denied my right to show I support a woman's right to walk alone at night without the company of a man!"

Listen to yourself. You're a twit.

Likewise, there is at least one author whose grief at the loss of a child almost seems to subsume the fact that his wife is even involved.

Which, I have to admit, is an accusation that has been directed at me. One review (which otherwise praised the work) stated honestly; While Toni is referred to often and speaks occasionally, this thought-provoking play could be strengthened by a clearer representation of her voice. The father's perspective provides a "safe" viewing point, due to his biological separation from the torment at hand. But it leaves unanswered what Toni is thinking, as her body rebels against the life she so treasures.

But the book (both of these books) are written specifically for the fellahs to read. I even jumped on that bandwagon last fall when I wrote my Open Letter to the Fathers. The most important thing, I think, is that we express ourselves, no matter how we might be perceived, if only to just get our voice out there. No matter how deep. Or obtuse.

Besides, any book about stillbirth or miscarriage that describes the feelings if impending fatherhood by making reference to both Up the Junction and Springsteen's The River must totally rock.