Welcome ... and Farewell

I have no idea what kind of listenership WCPN gets at 8 PM on a weekday - for goodness sakes, that's when they normally broadcast the Canadians. But just in case there is a large audience (or maybe I should say, an audience) for this evening's broadcast of I HATE THIS, and in case any of them check out the website and just in case anyone clicks on the "Blog" button ... hello. Thanks for listening.

It's been a good day. I actually need to get back downstairs and check the meatballs. We are making our annual birthday feast, I make spaghetti and meatballs (my favorite) and Toni makes artichokes (her favorite.) There's a cake, too, it has an otter on it. That's a surprise. I'll post a photo later, if I remember to take one. The people at Zagara's did a beautiful job.

We stopped by Cleveland Public Theatre this morning to decorate Calvin's brick, and headed to the zoo to see the otters. Zelda & Orson had a lovely time. If it weren't for Z we would probably not have gone around the main part of the zoo, it was so cold. But not too cold. She loved seeing the elephants get cleaned, and spotted a giraffe right by the window of their house, one we missed even though it was right there, the tallest one, eating from a trough. Orson just liked looking at everything, and was contentedly rosy-cheeked throughout.

Yes, I finished Doctor Who. ("Bananas are good!") I am ready for London.

photo: Happy birthday, Mr. Shreckengost!

Oh, London, yes, if you are new, we are going to England to stay with Henrik and his family for two weeks. And I have a performance of IHT while I am there. I will be posting messages from Britain, and hopefully photos. Wish me luck.

Now, it may be disorienting, if you are new to me or this story, to learn all of this after having just listened to our story. Maybe you are thinking, "Yay! Happy ending!" If so, that wasn't the point. We are very fortunate to have had two successful, subsequent pregnancies, and we are all well and happy and have incorporated Calvin and his life into ours. This is not true of everyone, and we have met so many in the past few years who have suffered in silence because of the fear most Americans have discussing death in general and child death in particular.

I have no answers. Only sympathy and, I hope, support. Toni was approached by a new acquaintance at Orson's music class last week, someone new to town ... and new to this world. They lost a child last fall, shortly before hearing IHT on the radio when it was first broadcast. She heard my wife's name, and Orson's, and well, how many pairs are there like that? She came up to Toni to say hello.

"Does it get better?" she asked. Because she really didn't know. And Toni said yes. We never forget. It's different, it's better. I need to go, it's time for dinner. Zelda wants to sing "Happy Birthday" when the cake comes out. We never used to do that, but how can we say no?



UPDATE: Zagara's Marketplace in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, my friends. They created this ridiculously awesome cake. Chocolate cake with butter cream icing - normally Toni would insist on making her own cake, but our oven has been on the fritz for over a year (can't remember what we did last year.) So Z. and I were looking at designs for a cake the other day, they were all commercial, so I just asked them to put an otter on it.

No words? They asked, no message? Who is the cake for, a child, an adult? That's when it felt weird. It's one thing to state without regret that your eldest actually has an older brother who died in the womb, it's another to have to explain you're getting him a cake. No, I said, it's a commemorative cake (wimp) - the otter will be just fine.

So the artist came out to ask about the design. Is it all right if she just looks at a picture online, what about the colors, green? Blue? Whatever looks right, I said. And today I picked up this. It's beautiful! And delicious.

Happy birthday, guy. I think a five year-old would dig this cake.