Happy Birthday, D*ckhead.

I have already celebrated 37 birthdays, and by my count eleven of them were spent either rehearsing a play or performing in one. That doesn't count the night I just went to see a play.

Tomorrow I turn thirty-eight, and I will strive to put on a happy face. The five-inch long stitch on the back of my son's head makes me want to shoot myself.

Wednesday, July 26, 1972
Fourth Birthday. One of my earliest memories. We were in Maine, staying that year, for the only time, in The Log Cabin.

Wednesday, July 26, 1978
Tenth Birthday. Saw the In-Laws at a movie theater.

Thursday, July 26, 1979
Eleventh Birthday. I had a birthday party in my house in Bay Village. Mom made spaghetti.

Monday, July 26, 1982
Fourteenth Birthday. We were in Maine. My parents surprise my with an Apple II+. Brand loyalty is a powerful thing.

Tuesday, July 26,1983
Fifteenth Birthday. We were in Maine.

Thursday, July 26, 1984
Sixteenth Birthday. Lugo, Spain, a long and painful exchange student experience. On my birthday, however, I receive a fat letter from my best friend. I get kisses from the girls and yanks on the ears from everyone. Arden gave me a cigar. That night Mary and her boyfriend Mario take me to his sister's where we talk and drink and eat sausages. Late, late at night (early next morning) I dance pirouettes in the square in front of the Cathedral.

Friday, July 26, 1985
Seventeenth Birthday. Neither my best friend, nor my girlfriend were in town. I had dinner at Don's River City Cafe with Mom, maybe Denny, probably Grandfather.

Saturday, July 26, 1986
Eighteenth Birthday. Can't remember. Might have been a party (not thrown for me) at Lynn and Laura’s where my girlfriend and Erin gave me lacy underpants. It was a private joke.

Sunday, July 26, 1987
Nineteenth Birthday. Had a performance of Singing In The Rain that night at Huntington. Erin borrowed the key to my parents house and made the place up for a "surprise" party, though I knew she was doing it. It was cool ~ a bunch of people, younger people, came for the beginning of the party, which was over by 12:30. I was about to pack it in when a larger group of people, the older members of the cast and crew, showed up with bottles in hand, asking if the party was still going, and my birthday party stretched well into the rest of the night.

Tuesday, July 26, 1988
Twentieth Birthday. We had rehearsal for Eden on the River. My roommate and I were already beginning to not speak to each other, but she was honestly upset when she discovered she forgot it was my birthday. "Oh No, Major F*ck Up!" I believe she cried, and got my a Hostess Cupcake with a candle in it from Super America.

Wednesday, July 26, 1989
Twenty-First Birthday. Must have had rehearsal that night for Eden on the River. Spent the day making daquiris for anyone who dropped by using the huge bottle of Bacardi I had bought that day at the State Liquor Store and my new blender my mom got me.

Thursday, July 26, 1990
Twenty-Second Birthday. Second night of big hot tub party in Athens. My girlfriend and I had birthdays on consecutive days (hers is today, akshodry.)

Friday, July 26, 1991
Twenty-Third Birthday. Dinner at Friday's in The Flats with my girlfriend, Scott T. and at least one other person. Afterwards we found the new, not yet Grand Opened Metropolis nightclub, which was very cool then.

Sunday, July 26, 1992
Twenty-Fourth Birthday. Was in NYC visiting Toni and Harris, and my car had been stolen. This night we saw Blue Man Group.

Monday, July 26, 1993
Twenty-Fifth Birthday. Dinner at Friday's in The Flats. A friend of my wife’s took our picture in the center of an apartment building in Little Italy.

Tuesday, July 26, 1994
Twenty-Sixth Birthday. I had kind of blown off my wife and she was angry at me for it. Or maybe it was that I had just started sleeping with Toni the weekend before. I had a rehearsal for Romeo & Juliet that night and didn't tell anyone it was my birthday until after rehearsal when everyone had left.

Wednesday, July 26, 1995
Twenty-Seventh Birthday. Again, a rehearsal. Okay, not a rehearsal, a photo shoot, for the first Night Kitchen production Bummer. Again, there were beers at Edison’s in Tremont, without telling anyone it was my birthday.

Friday, July 26, 1996
Twenty-Eighth Birthday. A post-show party for the Realistic World 3 turned into a skanky "Truth or Dare" game. I really pissed off Trish, and Dan tried to have sex with me.

Saturday, July 26, 1997
Twenty-Ninth Birthday. Toni, Con and the kids go to the Rock Hall (I Wanna Take You Higher exhibit), the Great Lakes Science Center (Star Trek exhibit) and have dinner at Friday’s. Balloons, yay!

Sunday, July 26, 1998
Thirtieth Birthday. Attended a reading of Cole Cuts, and dinner at Gamekeeper’s Lodge. Sauteed Ostrich. Delicious.

Monday, July 26, 1999
Thirty-First Birthday. I have no idea.

Wednesday, July 26, 2000
Thirty-Second Birthday. The culmination of a three-week swing through the South. We visit the Mummies of the Insane in Phillipi, WV and arrive in Athens for an extended weekend.

Thursday, July 26, 2001
Thirty-Third Birthday. Rehearsal for the NY Fringe production of Toni’s play, Angst:84. I was assistant directing.

Friday, July 26, 2002
Thirty-Fourth Birthday. Toni surprised me with tickets to the Cuyahoga Valley Railroad, and tea at the Ritz Carlton. That night there was a performance of Henry IV at Tri-C West, and drinks at BW3s (though I wasn’t drinking.)

Saturday, July 26, 2003
Thirty-Fifth Birthday. The I Hate This 35th Birthday Party.

Monday, July 26, 2004
Thirty-Sixth Birthday. No record of festivities. Preparing to leave for Maine.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Thirty-Seventh Birthday. Breakfast with the family at the Inn on Coventry, then a 12-hour technical rehearsal of The Merry Wives of Windsor. Beers at Becky’s followed.