My gig at the North Shore University Hospital has been cancelled. The head of OB/GYN (who has little interest in or sympathy for the bereavement support program at NSUH) decided the event needed his approval an demanded to see the script.
I was a fool, and sent it him. He found it threatening, that it lays all blame for my son's death squarely at the medical team's feet.
I have a lot more to say about this, of course ... but I need to calm down and think it over a bit.
8 comments:
This is horrible, and infuriating. What a shithead! I am sorry.
Ouch. I've had this, I really have. Bigwigs who blunder in and cancel without even knowing what the performance was all about. I feel for you. (On the flip side, I also read the play, without seeing it performed, and felt that it was an indictment against me. What can I say, it provokes strong reactions.)
Sorry about that, David. Don't suppose it would help to point out that since it's a journal of your thoughts and feelings as they occurred at the time, you also at various times laid full blame on that c*** her boss and yourself as well? Maybe invite him to read a little Elizabeth Kubler-flipping-Ross while he's at it so he understands that projection of anger and blame is a stage towards acceptance of death?
Hey, and you know what? I sent them the bowdlerized version, it didn't even have the "c" word in it!
Shame on me, I got burned like this once, sending the video to a theater in Boston. I mean, the video got me in at the NY Fringe, but it's really not a professional quality tape and I never heard from them again.
So, yes, I was wondering if you mention that Henrik, I appreciate it - the script is not the show.
What's most troubling is the idea that such a play shouldn't be produced at a hospital - that speaking what is thought when grieving is wrong.
It may seem like it, but this is a chance to make yourself notorious. The fact that this asshole (I'm sorry, DOCTOR asshole) didn't want it out there puts you even more squarely on the side of the bereaved. Someday you'll be able to thank this guy for getting Calvin's story told to a wider audience (although you are under no obligation to thank him, nor would he care).
And shame on him for enforcing the taboo.
that doctor is a little, little person.
I'd make a stink, and shame this Doctor, but that's me - I'm thinking that a letter to the editor of the local media may spark a minor story ... ofcourse, the group that were bringing you there are supportive of you, and it's ultimately their livelyhood and workplace that potentially suffers if this self-important asshole decided to take it out on them, so see where they stand...
FYI...
There's a story in the San Francisco Chronicle today about stillbirth that actually dares to ask, 'When are we going to find out why it happens? And when will we start talking about it?' In case you're interested, here's the link.
http://tinyurl.com/mnf39
Be sure to send it to the asshole, too. He's part of the problem.
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