Dynamite & Pizzazz

What we listened to: 1976 - 1979

My parents are visiting Britain this week, and I gave them a mix-CD for Henrik. A snapshot of life listening to G-98 and WMMS in the mid-to-late seventies.

It wasn't until I passed the disc off (to Dad - they will be visiting Hansens UK this week) that I realized the first song is London Town and the last is Cleveland Rocks, like that is supposed to be touching or something. Except it kind of is.

Looking at my children, I wonder what their memories of childhood will eventually be. I remember Watergate and the Bicentennial ... and really upsetting stuff like the "Hey You!" ad from Saturday Night Live (as well as all of those disturbing sketches with naked people in bed together - I never found them funny, only kind of sad) and the deep, troubling issues found in The Pina Colada Song which were parsed only too-well on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Growing up in a house of shame ("Don't do that - it's childish.") I dismissed my single-digit years almost as soon as I was through with them and never looked back. Ditto my teens years, my early-twenties, they were all mistakes. Not simply childhood embarrassments to be laughed at and shrugged off, but errors. I wasn't a child right.

Toni helped me get over a lot of this. And shortly before Calvin was born, I began revisiting these days with a vengeance. And then he died, and I was cut adrift. I had dreams, waking and otherwise. And in spite of the sorrow, I was grateful for that gift, another gift from him.

I wish I had at least one child with me I could say was born before 9/11, but I don't. They will both grow up knowing the Twin Towers were destroyed before they were even conceived. I don't know if that will be relevant to them (Kennedy was dead five years before I was born, b.f.d. and I wish people would stop talking about it) but it is to me.

Dynamite & Pizzazz

01. London Town - Paul McCartney & Wings; London Town
I can smell the petrol fumes.

02. Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra; Out of the Blue
Dorky Beatles knock-off, rendered retro cool thanks to Volkswagon.

03. Take A Chance On Me - ABBA; The Album
Their music always made me feel so mature.

04. Sir Duke - Stevie Wonder; Songs in the Key of Life
On one of the audio channels on our flight to London in '77. Who is 'Daisy Miller'?

05. Lonely Boy - Andrew Gold; What's Wrong With This Picture?
Yes, I actually like this song.

06. Heart Of Glass - Blondie; Parallel Lines
She said ass.

07. Pop Muzik - M; New York-London-Paris-Munich
One of those "it needs that wobbly 45 sound" tunes.

08. Just What I Needed - The Cars; The Cars
First Mom's-not-home party at the Curry's. How about a whiskey and TAB?

09. Is She Really Going Out With Him? - Joe Jackson; Look Sharp!
Riding our bikes on the wrong side of town.

10. Somebody To Love - Queen; A Day at the Races
No one sings like Freddie. Except George.

11. Doubleback Alley - The Rutles; The Rutles
Why the hell wasn't Neil Innes part of creating Spamalot?

12. Baker Street - Gerry Rafferty; City to City
Henrik thought this had to do with Sherlock Holmes. Makes me think of Captain America for some reason.

13. Black Cow - Steely Dan; Aja
This isn't about a rootbeer float?

14. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot; SummerTime Dream
I learned my Great Lakes from this ... and from Paddle to the Sea.

15. Year of the Cat - Al Stewart; Year of the Cat
Claugue Pool.

16. The Things We Do For Love - 10cc; Deceptive Bends
Backyard at the Hammonds.

17. Cleveland Rocks - Ian Hunter; You're Never Alone With a Schizophrenic
"Wash up, punch out, come back and wrap things up." Thanks, Kid.

I Passed - Again!

Got my grades back from the Metro Health performances. I love these evaluations, they're fun. They're mostly yes-or-no questions, which don't give you much to work with, unless the question is interesting.

"Were the objectives met?" 36-yes 0-no

(Whew.)

"Will the information presented alter my performance?" 35-yes 1-no

(That doesn't make me think the one dissenter is arrogant, maybe they know what they're doing - it's the fact that the other 35 attendants found something in my show that they do wrong. Wow.)

This one threw me, though:
"Did the speaker show bias during presentation?" 7-yes 27-no

(Woo! What does THAT mean? And two people didn't answer!)

If it's of any interest to those involved - after doing the show more or less in the dark last May, all participants said "the room was conducive to learning." Way to go, Emeri! Makes a big difference when you can see me.

Comments:
One of the best Grand Rounds.
Excellent presentation.
Very worthwhile presentation.
Touching, but not really helpful to us.

... Hmn. Maybe we should be worried about that one dissenter ...

I HATE THIS radio drama photos now posted at the I HATE THIS Photo Gallery.

Non-Linear Script, Non-Linear Editing

The past two days Dave, Al and I have been stringing together the radio play. I can't remember when I first heard the term "non-linear editing" but I do remeber I couldn't comprehend it. That was maybe two decades ago, like when I started working at the green radio station at school.

I was truly surprised at how much we were able to accomplish in two, two hour sessions. Wednesday we (mostly) took all of the audio we had recorded with the actors in August, which were entirely out of order, and put them in order. That included remembering which takes we liked and which we didn't. Thank God Dave took very good notes, because I had no idea.

At the end of that session, I was also struck at how much I thought the show was going to sound ... not good. And it was 1 hour and one minute long - that was before adding music and sound effects. We need a 00:58.30 program, period.

Yesterday we finished stringing the dialog together, and added music and available sound effects (those already part of the show - we need to create a dozen or more new ones) and Al and I took a lot of the more obvious pauses out of mine and Brian's delivery. Brian is the "voice of the slides", basically, announcing the beginning of each scene.

By the time we were done with that rough edit the show was - one hour and two minutes! We had added an awful lot of time with the music, but apparently we had also taken out a lot of dead air. That was a thrilling relief. There's still a lot of work, but I think we have nowhere to go but down - chronologically speaking.

Target airing is the day after Thanksgiving, at noon. It will be a "Very Special" episode of Around Noon, which would have been a re-run on that day, anyway. We have a lot of work to do before then, but I like to think the hardest part is done.

I will need to cut certain passages, and going over the rough version there are a few places I want to re-record entirely, but only me, not any of the other actors. Anyone who has any suggestions for cuts is welcome to make them.

Google Game

My name:

Where I was born:

Where I live now:

My eldest child's name:

The name of my first pet:

My favorite playwright:

My favorite food:

My favorite drink:


UPDATE:
My favorite song:

Double Play

Yesterday was a first for me. Not only was I performing my one-man show at MetroHealth, but The Vampyres opened at CPT. Two plays in one day. Neat.

It was a good performance. I still love to tell the story. I messed up a surprising number of words, and I can't account for that. It was a very supportive crowd. I think I was just getting ahead of myself. One reassuring constant is my stage manager Kelly, who knows the show very well and can cope with almost anything. Today's performance and yesterday's were flawless on her end.

It didn't hurt that since May, MetroHealth's tech guy, Emeri, has been on the case. Last time there was no front lighting, now there was, and how. And they rewired the PowerPoint and sound so Kelly could run it facing the stage, instead of sitting on it. Yay, Emeri!

As the final moments came, I wondered how I was doing (just another sign I was rusty, I shouldn't have been thinking about that then.) The proof came in the Q&A we held with the attendees. Nurses asking "how can we not be Nurse Evil?" and doctors asking "what can we do for the other family members of bereaved parents?" They wanted to know. They were engaged in the subject. Coping with parents with a loss was important to them.

Catherine and Steve were there. It was so nice to meet them in person, finally. I was reminded, when I introduced them to Kristen F. (who, along with her husband, Dr. Phil, was instrumental in getting me this performance) what a short time it has been for them since they lost Alex.

In the play, I re-enact a part of our memorial service for Calvin. It took place in late May, 2001. Alex was born im May, 2005. At the service, held two months after Calvin was born, I mention "how long" it had been since Calvin's death. Two months. So long. It's true.

Today was very different. The performance at Akron City Hospital was much more technically correct. But no one laughed, at least not out loud, not once. I can usually tell what kind of audience reaction I am to expect by the time I say, "I guess the only way I can express my feelings is through laundry." Nothing. It was like Minnesota.

I don't believe there was a single man in the room, it was a conference of nurses, and by the time I describe my wife's former boss with the "c" word I thought I was skating on thin ice. I couldn't blame them, though. The air conditioning had gone (I can't believe I did the show in my sweater, anyway) and they had been there all day.

We did have a nice, brief talkback at the end, and that went a long way to show I was just missing something. A woman sitting near the front simply thanked me for a wonderful show. She was quiet, and her eyes were red. Maybe I should remember some people can't find this amusing at all. And that that is their right.

My contact, Jennifer D. was extremely wonderful throughout, and took very good care of Kelly and I. And I have to admit, again, I was truly enjoying the experience of living it all again. Living it is remembering, never forgetting. I surprised myself during the "Memorial Service." It has been so long since he died. So long. It will never end.

I miss you, boy.

UPDATE: Just read Catherine's "review" of the show (I call it a review, it's so much more than that.) And I don't know what to say. Toni was reading over my shoulder and said, "that's why you do that." And so it is. Thanks again, Catherine. I am so glad you two came.

What Am I Doing Here?

Okay, I am going to take a deep breath, and try to get this out in the appropriate way. Not sure if it makes any difference, I am not sure who still reads this blog.

It has been a humbling year. Maybe that doesn't make any sense. Personally, things are great. The kids are big and healthy. There were lots of children in the yard this summer, neighborhood kids and friends. So much to be grateful for, all the pain faded into the general background of our lives.

Professionally, again, who could complain? The summer spent on-stage in the repertory company of Great Lakes Theater Festival. Things are swimming for the residency program. My "new" play The Vampyres did very well at Big Box and has a short run beginning this week. And then there are all those appearances as "Mr. Shakespeare" for GLTF, on the marquee on Euclid, and now, on the cover of NO Live because GLTF won their "Award of Achievement."

And what about I Hate This? A dizzying performance last May, within forty-eight hours of Orson's birth - and three shows this week alone: Wednesday and Friday at MetroHealth, and Thursday at Akron City Hospital.

But after two years, I finally find myself in the place where I am questioning my continuing to perform it. Does it still mean as much as it did - to me? Is the WCPN version going to sound all right? Is it a story I have told too many times, at least like this? There are so many ways to remember Calvin, has this one lost its importance to me?

To put it another way, has I Hate This become a commodity? Or a party trick?

The sad fact is, I wanted this show to get the nod from NO Live, to get a nomination. It got great recognition in New York, it's an important show. I can't take anything away from those who did get recognized - especially Sarah Morton, whose 4 Minutes To Happy is another deeply personal show about an all-too little discussed issue. Not to mention the fact that Sarah is a dizzyingly talented writer of whom I have always been in awe. And a uniquely stunning performer.

And so the Fates said, oh, I get it. You just want your picture in the magazine. NY Times not good enough for you, Sherrod Brown not good enough for you, you need some more validation, you want to be in a magazine now, too. Well that's fine, here, put on this silly costume, we'll put you on the cover of the magazine, if that's all you want.

Shame.

There is a song. It is my song, mine and Calvin's. I first heard it while receiving massotherapy, in April, 2001. It's on one of those "world music" compilations you find at Starbucks. I won't say what it is.

I have listened to it, I think, a dozen times in the past four and a half years. I can't hear it without going back, without being there, in that imaginary summer. This morning while I was in the bathroom there was a traffic report, and, well, it wasn't that song being played under it, but it must have been that artist, from another album. Close, but not it. I sat there on the toilet and closed my eyes. Something new. Something different. I won't call it a "sign" - but if I can imagine "fates" messing me around one way, I am entitled to imagine this.

And then I received an email, seemingly out of nowhere, from someone I met once a long time ago. Not just a long time ago, but then. She brought a young man from Akron to audition for Bad Epitaph's The Alchemist. He got cast, by the way, he was a very talented young man. The auditions were about a week before we learned Calvin had died.

This woman lost a child a few months later, in July. I did not know this. She came to see the Big Box perfs in February, 2003 - and dragged her husband along, who did not like theater, let alone theater that might, you know, hurt.

She wrote:

I too, found out in an ultrasound. That image is still and will forever be in my mind. I too, after finding out through autopsy that he had died many days before, stood there with my mouth open thinking "but I felt him move just the other day...he couldn't have been dead". I too spent many evenings crying in his 1/2 painted nursery. Right down to the divine flight of a sparrow (that's my fav too), I felt like for the first time somebody had a clue of what I was feeling.

So many of your experiences are frighteningly similar, so much so that after the show I became appalled that so many people go through such similar circumstances and nothing is done about it. I'm proud that you are not one of those people. I am so glad you are making change. Many of the most insensitive things I heard during that time were from medical professionals, and my closest family members. Exception given to Scholastic who kept telling me they wanted to send me free books to read to my son - a**holes. We got a lot of Gerber coupons too - a**holes. I couldn't be happier to see you perforating for medical professionals who deal with this kind of thing everyday, and yet, don't seem to notice that we are here.

I still to this day want to know why I needed to be ushered past the nursery filled with warm babies and happy mothers every time I wanted something to drink. Why did I have to wait in triage with mommies having contractions as I sat thinking I would never feel mine move again? Why do they press so hard for you to be medicated into delirium to give birth? What is with family forcing you to eat? And doctors giving you sleeping pills? And people wondering when you will get "over it"? Not him, it. Oh the many important and dumb questions we ask when our babies die. But they are important, and I couldn't see than being asked more eloquently than your show.

Yes. That's right. Thank you for that. I can feel sorry for myself and get wrapped up in all that other nonsense I get so neurotic about. But I have three shows to do this week, and those are important. I have medical health professionals to smack around. I have friends in grief who are coming to see the show for the first time. And I have friends who have lost children recently to remember while I am doing it.

So excuse me. I need to rehearse.

A Heartbreaking Choice

Under Din of Abortion Debate, an Experience Shared Quietly
NY times, 9/18/05

Far from Washington and the Supreme Court confirmation hearings of Judge John G. Roberts Jr., here in Little Rock on an August weekend, 26 women from as far away as Oklahoma joined the more than one million American women who will probably have abortions this year.

Their experiences, at one of only two clinics in the state, offer a ground-level view of abortion in 2005, a landscape altered by shifts in technology, law, demographics and the political climate ... (more)

Munchen Rock City

Dear Sir or Madam,

we, the German political magazine DIE GAZETTE would like to reproduce a photo by Anthony Gray (see attachment) together with a letter by Albert Camus concerning "The State of Siege" in our September issue

Could you please get us into contact with the photographer or the owner of the reproduction rights so that we can him also for a printable tif-file?

Unfortunately time is of the essence.

Looking forward to your answer and yours sincerely,
Fritz Glunk
editor

Bad Epitaph was only too happy to oblige. (The State of Siege page is still online if anyone cares to look.) And they did get the actors' and photographer's names correct, and the proper spelling of our company. Where and when they state our show was produced leaves me puzzled.

FYI

We are producing my play The Vampyres at Cleveland Public Theatre, opening October 5. It's a two week run, with performances Wednesdays through Sundays.

For those interested, I have set up a blog pertaining to that production called Coffee & Blood. It is for discriminating tastes.

Currently I have four performances of I Hate This booked for three days in a row during the first week of October, at three hospitals around Northeast Ohio. I am looking forward to doing the show more than once at a time.

On The Radio: pt.2

Magdalyn Donnelly as Julie

Sadie Grossman as Toni

Betsy Hogg as Lydia

Preliminary recording is complete - everyone was completely wonderful. I am very excited - and apprehensive - about how it will sound, once we get everything in the right order and add the music and sound effects. Okay, very apprehensive.

Dave, Al and I will get together at the end of September to complete the process. None of us can get together before then, I am back in residency rehearsals for Great Lakes and that's very time consuming. We are planning on a Thanksgiving-time airing.

On The Radio: pt. 1

Tom Weaver & Nick Koesters



Acting. Thank you.



Scott Plate as Henrik



The calm, reassuring voice of Brian Pedaci.



Dee Perry as Nurse Angel.



Ali Garrigan as the Midwife.



Dorothy & Reuben Silver as my parents.

(Not pictured; actors Nina Domingue and Sadie Grossman, producer Dave DeOreo and engineer Al Dahlhausen.)

We will finish preliminary recording in two weeks, with Magdalyn Donnelly and Betsy Hogg. We got most of the dialogue down in a four-hour session which was remarkably productive. Everyone was wonderful - better than I could have hoped. I was alternately stunned with the originality of the interpretations, or the spot-on reinterpretations of my work.

Dee asked if it was odd to have people performing the other parts when I have grown so used to playing them all myself. The fact is, I loved it. As much as I cherish doing the show on my own, playing against other readers was just a kick. I hope it sounds as good when Dave and I get to editing it as I think it came off today. Thank you, thank you, thank you, people!

Don't ask when it will air, we don't know that yet. When it does, I am sure it will appear here first.

Grading Our Grief

Hey, this is cool. I got my evaluations back from the conference at Metro - remember, the performance that took place 38 hours after Orson was born? I wasn't expecting to see the evaluations, this is a first for me.

A lot of the comments are on the conference as a whole, and so I can't take them as directly relating to my work. But this is the first score that is on my show in specific:

Were the objectives achieved?
I HATE THIS: Identify effect of child's death on relationships with family and professional caregivers.
YES: 122 NO: 6

Six? Six people thought those objectives (pretty round objectives) weren't achieved with my show? What kind of philistines are they? Who pissed in their Wheaties that morning?

Seriously, however, it's an overwhelming positive report (sheeyah, except for some half-dozen wieners I could mention) and the written comments were even more encouraging; Powerful, Bravo, The use of the arts was a powerful teaching tool and so on. It's been a wearying week, and this package really lifted my spirits. It's good to know the work is making an effect.

One person responded to the question "How will you change your behavior because of this program?" by stating they would "Do some reading about John Adams and John Quincy Adams." Didn't get that. But suddenly I am possessed with a desire to read about them, too.

Everything Is Illuminated

Perhaps I should explain. Since the first run-through I have had lame suggestions that the show would work better with other actors playing the other characters. Since the whole show is essentially a monologue, a story playing inside my head, I thought that was not a good idea. Better I just tell it.

While there are no plans for video, I would feel the same on that score, too. Attempting to depictthe scenes "as they happened" would rob the show of some of it's distance, and a lot of my commentary on it. Also, a lot of characters aren't meant to be thought of as accurate, but representations of how I received them at the time.

Radio is different. I wasn't sure how it would sound to hear my voice for an hour, without seeing the movement. I fear that would be extremely dull. So I asked some of the most talented voices in Cleveland to play all parts that aren't me. I will provide a cast list in the near future.

So, no, Henrik, you won't get to hear me play Lydia on the recording. Who you will get is better.

Radio Radio

An hour-long radio version of IHT for WCPN 90.3 FM is in the works. Stay tuned to this station for more details.

I Them Wed

Someone shared EPIC 2014 with me last night. Damn, that's disturbing.

It's hardly worth creating a blog if you can't maintain it, but since rehearsal began for the summer repertory, there has not been time ... nor much to write about except the summer rep.

Great Lakes Theater Festival's The Merry Wives of Windsor opened last night. It has been an exciting process ... if you like to be terrified. This time last week I couldn't have imagined things going as well as they are, everyone pulled out all the stops in time for Friday's preview.

Friday's preview audience laughed like hell for two and a half hours. That's a good thing - it's a comedy.

This production is set in the 1950s as a Howard Johnson-esque resort. I play Pistol as a greaser-thug. I have this wicked-awesome blonde pompadour, everyone says I look like Brian Setzer. Gaunt, blonde, no chin. What's really fun is walking into the crowd in the lobby after the show, without the wig, in my glasses - and no one knows who the hell I am.

This is Roy Berko's review. If there were not already a Roy Berko, we would have to devise an algorithm to replace him.

More important, more meaningful, however, was yesterday morning, when I performed my first marriage. Last year Josh and Kelly asked me to marry them. I said of course ... and set about finding out how. I became ordained as a minister in the Universal Life Church (and so can you) and then got certification from the Secretary of State of Ohio. And that was it.

It was a beautiful, bright, warm morning. Kelly was radiant in her white wedding gown (designed by Ali, of course, of course) and Josh was sporting a kilt. It was actually Kelly's family tartan, which was another lovely gesture. We stood before a forked tree (hey, wow - read "On Marriage" in The Prophet!) I wore my mourning coat, I looked very officious.

I was nervous about my remarks - not too much poressure, you know, it's just someone else's wedding in your hands - but I took one look at the couple and realized I couldn't be a fraction of frazzled as they were, and then it became easy.

Look for some pictures soon - we thought we abandoned our camera at the event, and we had, but Marian Fairman who-rocks-my-world picked it up for us.

Summer Reading: The other half of the summer rep is You Can't Take It With You. First show I ever did, as a freshman in high school (and how many of us can say that?) Director Drew Barr strongly suggested we - or anyone - read Moss Hart's autobiography, Act One. Love theater? Love Broadway? Love New York? Read it.

Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.

How delightful to arrive downtown for my first week of rehearsal for The Merry Wives of Windsor to find a twenty-foot high reproduction of me in tights out in front of Playhouse Square.

Of course, I just had to let everyone know about it.

Rehearsals have been keeping me extremely busy. They are long days, but fun days, the company is a whoot. And though comedy is harder to perform than tragedy (we're also producing You Can't Take It With You) it is a lot more enjoyable to be around.

Latest photos of Zelda and Orson are now on my website.

This Is London.

From my sister-in-law Brenda ...

Dear Everyone,

I just wanted to let every one that Lydia and I are still in London and we are fine. We are scheduled to fly to Germany tomorrow evening to join Henrik for training.

We live in South West London, so we are quite a ways out of London. So, we are safe.

I was out shopping at a local shopping mall picking the last few things that we needed before going to Germany. I was on a bus when it happened and Henrik texted me wanting to see how I was. I first heard from him in Germany about it. He made me promise to take a taxi home. By the time I was ready to go there were almost no busses even running and no taxis available so I have just walked the mile or so home. I am very glad that it waited to rain until I got home.

I hope that this has settled your minds.

Love and Prayers,
Brenda Jean

He's Back!

David Hansen, "the ultimate hairpiece designer" and owner of the domain davidhansen.com has his website back up and in action, baby.

This is David Hansen’s philosophy:  “I am a perfectionist and, many years ago, I realized that a large staff and production facilities could not meet my demands. My goal became to be the best in my field, not the biggest.”

A man after my own heart. And my head.

Not to be confused with the David Hansen of davidhansen.net who is a real estate agent with real hair.

davidhansen.info, davidhansen.biz, davidhansen.tv and davidhansen.porn are all still available for the rest of you David Hansens out there.

Happy Fourth,
David Hansen